“The Jews taught me this great word: Schmuck. I was a schmuck, and now I’m not a schmuck!”
(Scrooged)

So here’s my shameful confession: I am so horribly late in both posting & voicing my appreciation for the recent birthday/Christmas package one of our fabulous Darlings of The Dungeon sent that I really am a pre-Ghosts of Christmas Past/Present/Future schmuck. :ahhh

But I have one last chance—in case we’re not around after tomorrow—to try to un-schmuckify myself by giving a big, sloppy, gigantic public

&

to Darling Hollie who sent me the best Birthday/Christmas box-o’-goodies evah! :orny

Look at this thing:

The Devil Teddy is clearly going to be Mistress Heidi‘s favorite new companion!  And he already has a best friend…the mini Devil Teddy Darling Pam sent last year. :letitsnow

I am a sucker for vampires & can’t wait to wear this tee!

The severed finger cookies are just too awesome! (And yummy, too.)  I had a very long, enjoyable Bwahahaha! moment when I first saw them.  Not sure I should eat them all, though.  I mean, the possibilities are endless.  Sure, I could stick them somewhere & freak somebody out, but they could also be useful as a hands-free way of gesturing while driving, poking at things I don’t want my real fingers to touch…

Can you see the little donut resting between the two boobies?  I swear that wasn’t intentional. LOL

Sock Monkey cup warmer!  I like socks.  I like monkeys.  And I LOVE Sock Monkeys!!!  I think I’m going to use it on my Wicked sippy cup.  (Get it?  Wicked…Wizard of Oz…flying monkeys… :reindeer )

And last but definitely not least—the Booby Scarf!  Hysterical!  I can’t believe Darling Hollie actually figured out how to make one of these.  I am definitely going to wear it—out of the house, even :sled —& try to get a picture.  Which I will of course post here. :turkey   #noshame

THANK YOU SO MUCH, DARLING HOLLIE!!! :tree The entire package is AWESOME & really, really made my day, week, month…heck, sliding into two months now. :wink

I only have one question…  Where’s my Zombie Steve? :peekaboo

I am a woman of simple needs.  There are only a few things I really want to find under the tree on Christmas morning… :tree

For those moments when you just don’t have time to sit down & have an entire drink.  And are also in the mood for a bite of chocolate.

Oh, who am I kidding?  I’d gulp these down like potato chips—or vodka-filled chocolate :neener —& we all know it.

(With thanks to Darling Laura J. for sharing their existence with me. Because she knows me too, too well. :cheers )

Have I mentioned that my feet get very, very cold in the winter, in both my bedroom & my office?  And that these look really, really warm?  And that I love kitty cats?  And that these are too adorable to resist?  Oh, yes, me(ow) wants them bad. :mistletoe

Screw gingerbread houses, I want a gingerbread Serenity!

I swear on my soon-to-be undead kinfolk that if someone finds one of these for me, I will actually go to the kitchen & bake honest-to-goodness homemade cookies.  I’m pretty sure the oven still works, though I may have to take the shoeboxes full of tax receipts out first.  I may even decorate them with dripping blood & rotting flesh! :letitsnow

Lest you think I’m totally selfish & my Christmas Wish List is all about me, I’ve got a couple of kittehs who look an awful lot like these two, & who would love an adorable kitteh bed like this just as much—maybe even more.  Must find!  Preferably under the tree Christmas morning, but if Santa drops the ball, I’ll just go out & look for one of my own. :effinsanta