A FRIDAY FUNNY

MR. RIGHT REJECTION LETTER

Dear [insert rejectee’s name here]:

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right.  As you are probably aware, the competition was excee3dingly tough, and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut.  I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available.

So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:

[Check all that apply.]

___  Your breasts are bigger than mine.

___  Your last name is objectionable.  I cannot imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

___  The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at McDonald’s reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.

___  Your inadvertent admission that you “buy condoms by the truckload” indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.

___  You failed the 20 Question Rule.  i.e. I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one about myself.

___  Your legs are skinnier than mine.  If you can FIT into my pants, then you can’t GET into my pants.

___  You failed the credit check.

___  Your “Putting on a few, aren’t you, babe?” comment, given the 9-months-pregnant size of your own beer gut, was inappropriate.

___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.

___  The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.

___  The phrase “my mother” has popped up far too often in conversation.

___  You still live with your parents.

___  You mention your ex-girlfriend’s name more than you mention mine.

___  Three words:  size does matter.

Sincerely,

[Your name here]

FREE BOOK FRIDAY

Oh, the irony…

This week’s Free Book Friday offering is the Scottish Brides anthology, with novellas by Christina Dodd (love her! :)), Stephanie Laurens, Julia Quinn, & Karen Ranney.

To enter the giveaway for this book, simply leave a comment to today’s post that includes the code FBF—for “Free Book Friday,” of course—to let me know you’re interested in the drawing. (U.S. residents only for the prize, please, but everyone is welcome to chat.)

Winner will be announced during our Happy Sunday post on…well, you know, Sunday. Winner is responsible for contacting me with her mailing information—i.e. I will not be contacting you—so be sure to check back in or you might not even know you won! :uhoh (If prize isn’t claimed within 14 days, another name may be drawn or item may be tossed back into the goody bag to be re-used for a future giveaway.)

Let me count the ways you can show me some love if you really, really want to… :vamp

You can follow me on Twitter.

You can “Like” my Fans of Heidi Betts Facebook page. 

You can sign up for my newsletter by joining my Mailing List.

You can sign up for my Happy Bookers YahooGroup & chat with other readers who love me, too!

You can become a Street Walker for my Street Team.  (If you’re not quite sure what this is & find it a little disconcerting *g* check out The Mission & The Weapons sections of the Street Team site.)

And the great thing about signing up for any or all of these is that you’ll be kept up to date with everything that’s going on with my books & writing…& even some stuff that can be categorized simply under the heading “Life.”

Even if you don’t remember to check in here on a daily basis, you can bet I’ll be tweeting or updating elsewhere, sometimes with short bits of very amusing stuff that—sadly—doesn’t even make it on the blog. :uhoh

So “like” me, follow me, sign up for my lists.  It really is the best way to track my every move without being arrested for stalking. :cape