It lives!
And yet it still feels like death warmed over. 
Got on the computer to e-mail my agent & let him know I was still alive & finally home from the hospital, & thought I should let My Darlings know the same.
Yes, I am alive.
No, I don’t feel all that hot.
Yes, the surgery went well. (According to my doctor. If you ask me, you’ll get a response more along the lines of 
.)
No, I do not think I like spinal anesthesia, even though they assured me it was soooooo much better than the regular kind.
Yes, I was right that the surgery was actually needed to be done, which my doctor finally acceded to after they’d tested my dead old uterus & realized the endometriosis has worked its way into the muscle lining & was, indeed, causing major problems. (I file this under “I Told You So.”)
No, I am not sure I’m happy I had it done because Ouuuuuuuuuuch, dammit! I complained about how bad my cramps were every month, & this is like cramps on acid. 
Yes, I quite enjoyed the morphine pump they gave me to administer my own pain meds.
No, I do not enjoy having adverse reactions to narcotic painkillers that cause migraines & nausea, & not only make recovery ten times worse, but keep me in the hospital longer than expected.
Yes, I am relieved to finally be home.
But, no, I’m not enjoying being here.
Basically, I do a lot of sleeping, or lying around waiting until it’s time to take another pain pill so I can go back to sleep. 
I shuffle around a bit in between to keep from getting blood clots or atrophying completely.
I pretend to watch TV, but probably couldn’t tell you what happened in any of the shows I’ve seen. And the few I’ve tried to pay attention to had to be rewound & started over about six times because I kept nodding off. (It’s the jaw surgery/Elf marathon all over again! 
)
Forget about reading; I can only get through about two lines before everything starts to blur & I go cross-eyed.
Forget about writing. By hand, I’m still shaky, so anything I try to write down looks like a second grader who’s just learning cursive wrote it. Typing is a little better…I think. But since my brain isn’t working all that well, I can’t even be sure this makes sense.
Let’s just say that if it goes live tomorrow morning & turns out to be some far-out grocery list or deep-seated sociopathic manifesto…well, I’ll blame it on the drugs. Yes, that’s it—it’s the drugs. 
Comments
15 Comments • Comments Feed
Mary Kirkland says:
Omg you poor thing. Glad you are on the mend and it will get better. I know just what you mean about painkillers. I can’t take any without getting totally sick.
Hope you get to feeling better soon.
On October 20, 2011 at 3:32 am
Donna says:
It must be bad if Hunk Day Wednesday didn’t get your heart pumping. Feel better soon.
On October 20, 2011 at 6:48 am
Anne says:
Just take your drugs and enjoy (as much as you can) the veg time. You’ll perk up soon.
On October 20, 2011 at 9:42 am
Jessica Lemmon says:
Aww, I’m sorry you have to have such a rough recovery! Get well sooner than later! :drinkonme
And yep, this blog made sense. Even the part about the space aliens. 😉 :lol
On October 20, 2011 at 9:51 am
Jay says:
:eyeseeyou It’s good to see that you are alive, Heidi. And you make it sound all so wonderful that I’m going to have the same thing done next month. :dancingelvis No, really…and now I’m sooooo NOT looking forward to it. Gah.
Well just continue to pretend you are alive and not the walking dead. You could even use it for the next story. The Zombie I Came To Be. :lol
Oops, I forgot, no laughing for you. Yes, I know your response…. :biteme . Sorry. Take care and hope you come out of your drug induced hallucinations soon and be happy that you don’t have to endure the monthly crap anymore. ((HUGS))
Aloha!
On October 20, 2011 at 12:35 pm
Pamela Cayne says:
Lots of ‘poor baby’ and very gentle hugs coming your way. Just keep getting better–we’ll handle the rest. :dancer
On October 20, 2011 at 2:00 pm
Jane says:
:elvira Glad to hear the surgery went well, Heidi. Hope the pain goes away fast. :purplebat
On October 20, 2011 at 3:00 pm
Angie M says:
Glad you’re alive, Heidi! Surgery sucks! The only saving grace is the drugs! Hope you start to feel like yourself soon. Thanks again for the book and the swag! The door hanger was my favorite! Sending warm wishes your way. :lol
On October 20, 2011 at 4:53 pm
Kathleen O says:
I have know a couple of people who had the spinal tap done…but baby you got to knock me out with a sledge hammer.. There is not way they are going to cut into me that way… And I will find a doctor to do it, when i need surgery. My friend had her hip done that way… I don’t even want to know what they are doing.. It was bad enough when they did my eye surgery with me just in lala land… And that was lazer surgery…
I hear you abour the endometriosis, that was what happend to me.. But babe you will feel better… really…
Just take it easy and I am glad that all went well.. and you are home. Remember, There is no place like home…
:fangsmiley
On October 20, 2011 at 7:26 pm
Laura J. says:
But I’m so glad your alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or Undead even (you know since that actually kind of goes along with your latest release MLV).
I don’t recommend watching Big Bang Theory. You would loose a stitch or all of them.
On October 20, 2011 at 8:01 pm
Cathy Ward says:
You’ll be kicking up your heels in the tampon aisle in a month or so. Everytime I walked down that aisle after my hysterectomy I just know there was a shit-eating grin on my face. All my suffering was finally over.
:elvira
On October 20, 2011 at 9:33 pm
Fedora says:
Hugs, Heidi! Glad you’re back home and resting now! Take care of yourself!!
On October 20, 2011 at 11:58 pm
Traci says:
Sending healing thoughts your way! You will be on your feet in no time, and be able to wear white any time you want! :money Speedier recovery wishes to you!
On October 21, 2011 at 12:20 am
SiNn says:
aww Heidi I hope you feel better sending you warm healing thoughts
On October 21, 2011 at 5:31 am
Sharon says:
:fanglips Heidi, it’s good to hear you’re alive :elvira & getting better & better every day. Take good care of yourself.
On October 22, 2011 at 4:24 pm