Yesterday, I listed a bunch of reasons I haz a sad that I’m not attending the RWA National conference in New York as we speak.
Today, I’m going to list some of the reasons I’m happy I’m not there—even as I continue to haz the sad for all the aforementioned reasons. :crying (Hey, I’m a woman—I can juggle way more emotions than just “happy” & “sad” simultaneously. Later, I’m thinking of adding “lonely,” “angry,” & “ecstatic.” )
I AM HAPPY I did not have to pack. I hate packing. No, I mean HATE. I would rather have a root canal. Or pelvic exam. Or eat raw tomatoes. Okay, maybe not eat tomatoes…I really do hate those things.
I AM HAPPY I do not have to travel. (See above for the Hate Scale.) I’m okay once I get to my destination, but again, root canals are more enjoyable to me than dealing with airports, airlines, people in the airports & on the planes, shuttles, hotel check-ins… I just really enjoy staying home & never, ever having to leave.
I AM HAPPY I saved myself some money on the whole plane/train/automobile/hotel bill thing. I mean, it’s worth it for the conference experience, but keeping it in my bank account is good, too.
I AM HAPPY I do not have to deal with the crowded hustle & bustle of New York in June, nearly July. I mean, New York is great, but Country Mouse/City Mouse. I’m a Country Mouse at heart.
I AM HAPPY I don’t have to deal with dressing up (pantyhose–gack!) & doing make-up. Do you know how traumatizing it is to dig out last year’s conference clothes & realize you must have had a very…chubby winter because nothing fits? Or to stand in front of a hotel bathroom’s mirror & realize you don’t remember how to put your make-up on. I once used mascara before foundation & eyeshadow because I forgot how the flip to do it! (When you spend your days in pajamas & without a stitch of make-up, suddenly being asked to guzzy yourself up for public interaction is like one of those dreams where you find yourself standing in front of a crowd of people totally naked.)
I AM HAPPY I don’t have to worry about bedbugs. Whether or not the conference hotel has them, it’s a non-issue for me. *g*
I AM HAPPY I don’t have to leave my kittehs, especially Phantom Kitty (a.k.a. Precious). She’s my oldest & needs a lot of very special care my pet sitter can’t provide. Mainly because Precious won’t come out from under the bed for anyone else, so if anything was wrong, they’d never know until it was too late. So, nope, can’t leave her.
I AM HAPPY that I get to stay home & deal with my current deadline. The book is due soon after the conference, so if I were there, I’d spend all my time in a mental panic over getting it finished on time. Unless I tried to get it finished & turned in before I even left, which would have put me in a nearly catatonic state. So I’d be there, fretting about how tired I’d be after the conference, & how I’d ever manage to clear my head enough to get back to it. This is better; I shall stay home & concentrate (hopefully) without major interruption, & my editor will have the book on his desk right when it’s due.
Last but not least, I AM HAPPY that there will be no unpacking for me. As bad a packer as I am, I’m an even worse unpacker. Literally, my suitcase from the NJRW conference last October is still sitting on my front porch. I’ve been in it a few times when I needed something, but otherwise… :spikey
So while everyone else will be dressed to the nines & rubbing elbows with the publishing elite…
I will be home alone, workin’ & relaxin’, workin’ & relaxin’…
P.S. I’m also posting at the Brava Authors blog today with a “If I were at RWA, I would be signing copies of THE BITE BEFORE CHRISTMAS” Giveaway. So if you want a chance to win an autographed copy of THE BITE BEFORE CHRISTMAS, get your vampy little bottoms over there!
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