fun with needles & scalpels (part 1)

I enjoy convalescence.
It is the part that makes the illness worthwhile.

~George Bernard Shaw

As most of you know, I am fully recovered from my recent pass under the knife.  Unless there’s something I don’t want to do…in that case, I’m really tired & still not feeling very well.  Please go on without me. :oucher

So how well did everyone do last Thursday when I left you to place your bets on how long I’d be convalescing & what kind of nip/tuck I might be getting?  And how many believed that naughty, naughty Darling Hollie when she told you I was getting a boob job?  (Oh, yes, I saw that. :whip )  Oh, if only.  But The Girls are just as flat & floppy as ever.  No, the “little procedure” I had was a simple D&C, which will hopefully help with the “female problems” (lucky us, huh? :spikey ) I’ve had most of my life.  And if not, I’m going to let them gut me like a fish.  (Let them—ha!  I’m practically begging for it. :angelme )

The day of my surgery, I had to get up at 4:30am to be at the hospital by 6am.  Not fun.  And of course, I didn’t sleep worth a darn that night.  Not so well the two nights before, either, but I figured once they gave me the snoozy juice, I’d be able to catch up in spades. :sleeping   I packed a little bag with some necessities I thought I might need—lip gloss, handcream, a book…  Well, okay, three of them.  I didn’t know how long I’d have to wait before they took me or how long I’d be there before I was released.  Plus, I was nearly finished with Blood Ties by Kay Hooper, so what if I finished it & needed something else to read?  :babybook   You guys get that, right?  And, hey!  Those are necessities! :cuffs

So, anyway, I was still sleepy when I arrived, so I didn’t read in the waiting room as I’d expected.  And they called me really quickly, which I also hadn’t expected.  (I think they like to grab you before your nerves get the better of you & you make a run for it! :hide )

Now, I always pray for three general things before any kind of semi-serious medical procedure. #1—That my doctor/surgeon is at the top of his game.  #2—That everything goes well & I come through with flying colors.  #3—That I have a kind & friendly nurse (or nurses).  Because let’s face it—they’ve got access to all kinds of sharp objects & dangerous drugs.  If you get one who’s in a bad mood, she can hurt you BAD. :oucher

Well, I got the BEST NURSE EVER!!! Her name was Mary Jo, & I could tell from the very start she had a great sense of humor.  Then when she found out I write romance, she went bonkers!  She’s a huge reader, as is her husband & daughter, & she wanted one of my books bad.  So I had Madame Mommy Dearest run out & get one from the trunk of the car before the I.V. went in & the snoozy juice started flowing.

I actually gave her two—TANGLED UP IN LOVE & MR. AND MISTRESS.  That way, she gets the best of both worlds:  super-sexy/super-funny & passionate/sensual.  And she wanted them signed, of course.  Then she decided I should name one of the heroines in a future book Mary Jo…hey, you never know; it could happen :wink …& wanted to know all about how I got into writing & my process.  That certainly made the time fly by & kept my mind off the upcoming cutting & scraping.  Thanks, Mary Jo! :hippie

They wheeled me away soon enough, though.  And had to cover me with warmed blankets because the surgical suite was freezing!  (I’d forgotten that part.)  Then it was into the O.R., hop over to the other table, & lights out.

I have to tell you, if you ever need to have a surgical procedure done, do one of these! :ROFL I suppose you should only do it if you need one, but the fact is, this was the simplest, easiest surgery I’ve ever had.  Maybe because there was no incision, so they were able to give me just a shot of a little something to put me into a heavy sleep.  One of the nurses in the Recovery room even told me that I could have woken up if I’d wanted to.  But I didn’t want to; I was quite happy snoozing like a bear in hibernation, believe me. :sleeping   I even think I was dreaming at one point, but I don’t remember about what.

When I started waking up in Recovery, I was quite groggy at first, then it was just like waking up from a really deep sleep.  You know the kind where you’re tucked in bed all snug & comfortable, & it’s time to get up, but you reeeeeaaallly don’t want to. *g*  Then I had to wait there until the anesthesiologist had release me, even when I felt as though I could hop up & walk back to my room myself.  Oh, yeah, I felt that good.  Possibly some residual drugs running through my system, huh?  Which is why they don’t let you hop up & walk around right away. LOL

Okay, that’s enough for today.  Next week, I’ll finish up my post-op post-recovery…um, post *snicker* because I know you’re just dying to know more. :mwah


15 Comments  •  Comments Feed

  1. Jessica Lemmon says:

    Been there, had that procedure. Mine was outpatient, though, but like yours, easy-peasy. No dreaming, it was like a blank block of lost time. It made me uneasy… I’ve never had amnesia before, or at least I don’t remember if I have. :kittylaugh

    How cool is it that your nurse is a future fan?! I’m so glad everything went smoothly, and that you had someone awesome to keep you calm. :allgood

    • Heidi says:

      I’ll bet D&Cs are one of the most-done surgeries amongst us womenfolk, huh? And this was outpatient, too…I just haven’t gotten to the “sent home” part yet. :wink

  2. Hollie says:

    So glad this is over and not a horrible experience for you! And that Mary Jo was put into the process to help you ease through it!!
    I’ll be in line with ya to get MY flat and floppies taken away :wink
    Mistress Heidi SEES ALL!! :whip

  3. KathleenO says:

    I have been in your shoes.. Had a few of those procedures, before they eventually had to do the BIG one.. Yep, those doors are closed and locked..

    You are right about getting a good nurse. After one of my D&C’s I woke up to the nurses in the recovery talking about how to make Fettachinie Alfredo and what meat went in it. I just spoke up and said “Spiced Ham”… they all began to laugh.. Then I went back to sleep.. :sleeping . When I woke up, they asked me what I would like to eat and i said toast and then they all started laughing again. :ROFL i guess they thought I was going to ask for the pasta dish…

    Glad you are on the recovered and feeling your better… What we woman have to go through…Men would never make it. :funny

    • Heidi says:

      Oh, hey, I am all for it, esp. when it’s definitely necessary.

      A good nurse (or nurses) can make all the difference. Thankfully, I’ve been really lucky in that regard with just about everything I’ve ever had done! :hippie

  4. Cathy W. says:

    I got gutted, as you so colorfully put it, when I was just 31. Frankly, I was never more pleased with a procedure. Never missed it. AND I STILL FELT LIKE A WOMAN.

    • Heidi says:

      Good for you, Cathy! What one has to do with the other, I’ll never know. And if you’re sure you’re going to be using it *snicker* then why the heck should we be forced to live with it?! :angrychick

      I’m pushing for it, but the doc is balking cuz I’m only 29. Hey, shut up! I am so. :whistledev

  5. Laura J. says:

    As for getting any boob work done….you all go right ahead. I’ll wait over here for you all and hold your purses or something. Too painful. I have had two friends go through this one for bigger and one for smaller. Nope not gonna go through that!

    I am glad everything went well for you. I hope this doesn’t sound mean but I love your post surgery stories! Just keep them few and far between please. :spikey We like you healthy!

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