Free Book Friday (with a side of Funny)
A FRIDAY FUNNY
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”
The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. Your duck is dead,” replied the vet.
“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around, and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$150!” she cried, “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!” The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.”
(Thanks to our very own Darling Hollie for passing along that one. :bees )
FREE BOOK FRIDAY
This week’s Free Book Friday offering is (I think) our very first historical romance: Tempting Juliana by Lauren Royal.
To enter the giveaway for this book, simply leave a comment to today’s post that includes the code FBF—for “Free Book Friday,” of course—to let me know you’re interested in the drawing. (U.S. residents only for the prize, please, but everyone is welcome to chat.)
Winner will be announced during our Happy Sunday post on…well, you know, Sunday. Winner is responsible for contacting me with her mailing information—i.e. I will not be contacting you—so be sure to check back in or you might not even know you won! :crying (If prize isn’t claimed within 14 days, another name may be drawn or item may be tossed back into the goody bag to be re-used for a future giveaway.)
Comments
19 Comments • Comments Feed
Paula R. says:
Love the funny, Heidi!!! The Lab Report and Cat Scan…. :ROFL :ROFL :ROFL :ROFL.
Don’t count me in for the contest, okay? I just wanted to stop in and say hi. It’s been quiet around her…I’m not used to grabbing the halo so often. I hope all is well with everyone.
Peace and love,
Paula R.
On July 8, 2011 at 9:30 am
Heidi says:
You don’t get the halo very often because deep down you’re really a bad, bad girl. Right? :wink
But it’s good to have you around again. Keep it up! :bees
On July 8, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Anne says:
You know it’s a winner: I passed the vet joke on.
On July 8, 2011 at 9:42 am
Agatha P. Townsend says:
:bigwow Love it, FBF! thank you fro letting us win a chance, your joke was funny as well as cats! Agatha
On July 8, 2011 at 12:33 pm
Mary Kirkland says:
Sorry I haven’t been around lately, my mom passed away on June 24th and I am just now getting back into the computer after a while.
Thanks for the FBF funnies…I needed that today 🙂
On July 8, 2011 at 12:37 pm
Heidi says:
Oh, Mary, I am so, so sorry! I can’t even imagine how awful that must be for you. Well, I can, because I lost my dad, but still…moms are different.
{{{{{HUGS & PRAYERS}}}}}
On July 8, 2011 at 12:52 pm
Mary Kirkland says:
Thank you, I appreciate that.
On July 8, 2011 at 1:18 pm
Shadow says:
Aww. Mary, im so sorry. My condolences and prayers to you and your family.
On July 8, 2011 at 6:55 pm
Anne Clark says:
FBF…. And great humor!
On July 8, 2011 at 1:19 pm
Beccie Weaver says:
:cool FBF…thanks Heidi for the joke that was a good one. Thanks also for helping out and supporting me and Bookies.
On July 8, 2011 at 1:27 pm
Heidi says:
Love your Bookies group, Beccie. And I’m happy to participate in the giveaways…every time I do, I get a dozen or two more “likes” to my Fans FB page. Woot! :wink
On July 9, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Hollie says:
Hahahahaha….Love the joke…still!!
FBF me please…
we just got home from NY last night…as we were driving through pa..I was waving!! :getdown
On July 8, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Heidi says:
I was waving back, Hollie! Didn’t know why, but I suddenly had this overwhelming urge to start waving in your direction. *vbg* :flag
On July 9, 2011 at 12:13 pm
Shadow says:
Hi Heidi! How was your 4th of July? I loved the joke. 😛 :ROFL How funny! I almost wish i could have been a fly on the wall, just to see her facial expression. 🙂 FBF
On July 8, 2011 at 6:54 pm
Leni says:
It’s good no one is around to hear me laughing :kittylaugh
FBF
On July 8, 2011 at 10:08 pm
Mariee says:
Love the cats :kittylaugh
FBF
On July 8, 2011 at 11:06 pm
Robin D says:
Very cute! FBF
Robin D
robindpdx (at) yahoo (dot) com
On July 9, 2011 at 1:56 am
CrystalGB says:
Love the funny and the pics. FBF.
On July 9, 2011 at 5:01 pm
SiNn says:
ok those ar ealll hillarious!! reallythe kitty ones my fav !! lol
FBF!!
On July 9, 2011 at 7:00 pm