Free Book Friday (with a side of Funny)



Dear [insert rejectee’s name here]:

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right.  As you are probably aware, the competition was excee3dingly tough, and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut.  I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available.

So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:

[Check all that apply.]

___  Your breasts are bigger than mine.

___  Your last name is objectionable.  I cannot imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

___  The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at McDonald’s reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.

___  Your inadvertent admission that you “buy condoms by the truckload” indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.

___  You failed the 20 Question Rule.  i.e. I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one about myself.

___  Your legs are skinnier than mine.  If you can FIT into my pants, then you can’t GET into my pants.

___  You failed the credit check.

___  Your “Putting on a few, aren’t you, babe?” comment, given the 9-months-pregnant size of your own beer gut, was inappropriate.

___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.

___  The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.

___  The phrase “my mother” has popped up far too often in conversation.

___  You still live with your parents.

___  You mention your ex-girlfriend’s name more than you mention mine.

___  Three words:  size does matter.


[Your name here]

waiting for Mr.Right



Oh, the irony…

This week’s Free Book Friday offering is the Scottish Brides anthology, with novellas by Christina Dodd (love her! :)), Stephanie Laurens, Julia Quinn, & Karen Ranney.

To enter the giveaway for this book, simply leave a comment to today’s post that includes the code FBF—for “Free Book Friday,” of course—to let me know you’re interested in the drawing. (U.S. residents only for the prize, please, but everyone is welcome to chat.)

Winner will be announced during our Happy Sunday post on…well, you know, Sunday. Winner is responsible for contacting me with her mailing information—i.e. I will not be contacting you—so be sure to check back in or you might not even know you won! :uhoh (If prize isn’t claimed within 14 days, another name may be drawn or item may be tossed back into the goody bag to be re-used for a future giveaway.)


21 Comments  •  Comments Feed

  1. Hollie says:

    Happy Friday!!!! and just barely friday too…YAWN….
    FBF me please!
    Love the rejection letter!!!
    also the Adele CD!! such a good cd! :fangsmiley

  2. Debra G says:

    FBF Loved the funnies. Nice to start out Friday with a smile.

  3. Donna says:

    FBF. LOVED the rejection letter. Have a fab Friday.

  4. Mary Kirkland says:

    That rejection letter is too funny. Happy FBF! Scottish men? In a book? I’m so there!

  5. Anne says:

    Love how today’s funnies had a theme, then I thought maybe they always do and that shows how much I’m thinking by Friday. Hmmm, will have to remember to see if next week’s has a theme.

    • Heidi says:

      LOL Sometimes they do, Anne, but not always. Sometimes I just post random things that make me chuckle. This week, I was really just searching for a cute graphic to decorate the rejection letter, but I stumbled across so many “Waiting for Mr. Right” funnies I just HAD to use them. :jack

      Next week… who knows? *g*

  6. CrystalGB says:

    Love the letter. FBF Have a great weekend.

  7. Kathleen O says:

    OH this was hilliarous… I especially like “while waiting for Mr RIght, chocolate and booze will do nicely” :fangsmiley :showgirl

  8. Deanna says:


    Loved the rejection letter!!!


    Have a great weekend :fangsmiley

  9. yvette lowe says:


    That was great!!! Thanks for FBF also

    Hugs, Yvette

  10. Sherie says:

    Happy Friday Everyone! Cannot wait to sleep in tomorrow!!


  11. infinitieh says:

    I used to have a “no hair longer than mine” rule but since my hair was down to my hips at the time, I thought it was an easy one to follow.


    • Heidi says:

      Mine was “can’t wear more make-up than I do!” Hey, it was the 80s/height of hair bands. Girls *needed* hair/make-up dating rules! :fanglips

  12. Laura J. says:

    “___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.” I made a old boyfriend feel really bad when I told him I could save him $25 and change his oil in his car for him. Momma’s boy went home a few months later and then I went out with his roommate. :vamp2

    FBF!!! Hope everyone has a great weekend. We just had a major bridge/highway shut down for an indefinite period of time because they found a crack in the structure (even with this knowledge I still feel safer going over that bridge than the others). Which leaves all the north/south traffic and now the east/west traffic using one big bridge through a major city. There is one other bridge but it goes into downtown Louisville and can’t handle much traffic (4 very narrow lanes).

    Oh and did I mention there is road construction going on right on the other side of the bridge and they will be closing the east bound lanes for several weeks. And the one main bridge is also going to have a lane closure on it Monday morning.

  13. Cathy Ward says:

    Happy FBF. I could have used that rejection letter for reference before I got married. LOL

  14. LorettaLynn says:

    Looks really good,I love all of them :dancer

  15. SiNn says:

    humm i swear the blog world swallowes my posts i know i missed out this FBF But i soo love that letter!

    if im not to late FBF me crosse smyf ingers this post stays

Sign Up for Heidi's Newsletter

Join my mailing list for the latest book news, photos of hunky heroes, contests, and tons of fun features!