A FRIDAY FUNNY
MR. RIGHT REJECTION LETTER
Dear [insert rejectee’s name here]:
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was excee3dingly tough, and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available.
So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:
[Check all that apply.]
___ Your breasts are bigger than mine.
___ Your last name is objectionable. I cannot imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.
___ The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at McDonald’s reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.
___ Your inadvertent admission that you “buy condoms by the truckload” indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.
___ You failed the 20 Question Rule. i.e. I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one about myself.
___ Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my pants, then you can’t GET into my pants.
___ You failed the credit check.
___ Your “Putting on a few, aren’t you, babe?” comment, given the 9-months-pregnant size of your own beer gut, was inappropriate.
___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.
___ The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
___ The phrase “my mother” has popped up far too often in conversation.
___ You still live with your parents.
___ You mention your ex-girlfriend’s name more than you mention mine.
___ Three words: size does matter.
[Your name here]
Oh, the irony…
This week’s Free Book Friday offering is the Scottish Brides anthology, with novellas by Christina Dodd (love her! :)), Stephanie Laurens, Julia Quinn, & Karen Ranney.
To enter the giveaway for this book, simply leave a comment to today’s post that includes the code FBF—for “Free Book Friday,” of course—to let me know you’re interested in the drawing. (U.S. residents only for the prize, please, but everyone is welcome to chat.)
Winner will be announced during our Happy Sunday post on…well, you know, Sunday. Winner is responsible for contacting me with her mailing information—i.e. I will not be contacting you—so be sure to check back in or you might not even know you won! :uhoh (If prize isn’t claimed within 14 days, another name may be drawn or item may be tossed back into the goody bag to be re-used for a future giveaway.)
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